


Be With Me

by kjonginexo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Kaihun - Freeform, M/M, Sweet, im hurting, sekai - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-14 18:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11213430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjonginexo/pseuds/kjonginexo
Summary: Sehun wants Jongin to be with him but doesn't know if the feeling is mutual.I'm horrible at summaries.





	Be With Me

**Author's Note:**

> italic is past

_Sehun waited patiently at Jongin’s doorstep, rocking back and forth on his heels as his hands were held behind his back. He hadn’t seen or heard from Jongin in a few days now, usually the guy wouldn’t leave Sehun alone about either his boyfriend or ‘just checking in!’ texts or calls or random pop ins with food. Naturally he worried after only one day of silence from Jongin, but five was more than enough. Sehun bit nervously on his bottom lip, pulling out his spare key and entered into the apartment, it was dark, all the blinds were shut. “Jongin?” Sehun’s voice came out stronger than he thought it would have, none of this was like Jongin._

_Usually the blinds would be open, music would be playing or a movie at a too loud volume for anyone’s comfort, but now it was silent, dark, dead. It was dead inside of his apartment, Sehun flipped on a light, there wasn’t a mess so at least that remained Jongin-like. Although he did find it off that no snacks were out on the white kitchen counters, usually there was always a half eaten bag of chips open, or something was out for him to snack on. It was too spotless, the movies were organized, the TV was cold, the blankets were folded over the back of the couch and even the throw pillows were neatly placed in the crooks of the sofa._

_“_ _Jongin?” He called out once more, leaving the living room area to go down a long hall towards Jongin’s bedroom. The door was closed, his nervous fingers found the doorknob and turned it down to open the door and there he was. A lump in the messy bed. The mess had been in Jongin’s room. Empty ice cream cartons, tissues piled up in the trash can next to more than a few empty tissue boxes._

_The pictures of him and his boyfriend were gone, the only ones left were of him or him and his friends, Sehun took the spot next to the nightstand. Sehun carefully sat down on the bed, pushing the grey blanket away from his face to see a puffy eyed Jongin. Nose tinted the color red, cheeks flushed red and puffy to match his eyes, lips slightly swollen from what Sehun could decide was biting. His light touch ran through Jongin’s black hair, his milky skin made Jongin’s natural bronze stick out more in comparison. “Jongin?” Jongin very lightly stirred while Sehun continued to run his fingers through his hair. He sighed in relief to himself at Jongin being alive. He had been worried out of his mind about his friend, he let his hand very gently drift to his shoulder, giving him a light shake. “Jongin.” Sehun said, softly as he watched Jongin blink his eyes awake._

_“Sehun?” His voice was groggy and stuffy, Sehun already knew he was crying but this had been doubled up evidence. “I hadn’t heard from you in a few days, I got worried.” Jongin sat up a bit, rubbing his nose as he shrugged, looking down at the blanket. “Sorry.” Sehun parted his lips for a moment until deciding to crawl next to Jongin, leaning back against the headboard._

_“No, don’t be. What’s going on?” Jongin let his head rest on Sehun’s shoulder, swallowing thickly. “Taemin broke up with me. He threw a whole year long relationship away for some boy he met last month. Luckily, I didn’t love him. But it still hurts to know I’m not enough.” Anger coiled in the pit of Sehun’s stomach as he brought his arm around Jongin, holding him against him as his hand comfortingly rubbed his arm. “I’m sorry Jongin, you’re too pretty for him anyway.” It made Jongin giggle, he smiled that he got a laugh out of Jongin. “I missed you.” Jongin said quietly, scooting in closer to bring his arms around Sehun. He didn’t say it, he didn’t need to, Sehun felt like Jongin knew he missed him, too._

 

_“Jongin you have got to move out this place.” Sehun sat on the couch, looking up at Jongin who was now pacing back and forth. It had been a month after the break up, Jongin was still sad at times but Sehun didn’t leave his side once. He felt like if he left his side even for a moment, something bad would happen. So, Sehun pulled strings and got Jongin a job at his office company._

_He even managed to get Jongin an extra pay than his old job to fully sign him onto the idea. “I have nowhere to go Sehun. Chanyeol is a mess, Baekhyun might as well not e_ _ven live there with how often he goes to Chanyeol’s, Jongdae is in China, Junmyeon is in Japan, Yixing is in Busan, Minseok is already living with Luhan, honestly I have nowhere to go.” His signature pout took form on his lips, causing Sehun to laugh. His head tilted to the side as he cleared his throat._

_“You can live with me, Jongin. They keep raising the rent on you for no reason, so just, come live with me.” Jongin looked at Sehun, a bit lost in thought until he shook his head. “Sehun I’m already at your job, I can’t impede in your home too.” Sehun rolled his eyes, standing up to walk over to Jongin, placing his hands on the other’s shoulders. “You’re not impeding if I offer, so move in with me.”_

 

_Three months after the break up, two months of Jongin living with Sehun. Sehun didn’t have an issue adjusting to Jongin moving in, Jongin was quiet but Jongin also cooked dinner for Sehun without Sehun even knowing what was going on. Thunder sounded outside the apartment, Sehun lazily turned in the bed half asleep, letting his body sink into his comforters as his arm sprawled out on the empty half of the bed. His door cracked open, a small pad of feet walked over to his bed and his eyes opened at feeling the slight sink into his mattress. “Hunnie?” Jongin’s voice whispered out._

_Sehun knew Jongin was attractive but something about seeing him in a tissue thin white muscle tank top and basketball shorts, tousled black hair and pinker than usual pouty lips was getting to him. “Jongin?” Jongin tilted his head to the side, exhaling softly. “Can we cuddle? I hate thunder and, and please.” Sehun rolled a bit to give Jongin some room, he let his arm sprawl out on Jongin’s torso, thinking it was enough but it wasn’t._

_Jongin curled himself into Sehun’s chest, forehead set just beneath his collarbone, one arm over Sehun’s waist while the other was bent to let his hand rest to Sehun’s left pec. He tangled their legs together and subtly tightened the grip of Sehun around him. Sehun was wide awake now as Jongin curled into him, he didn’t hear the thunder outside but instead he heard the soft breaths from  Jongin’s nose, the warmth of his body against Sehun’s. The way his thighs felt thicker in comparison to his own, how his hair tickled the sides of his neck. He knew Jongin had fallen asleep when the breathing turned into deeper ones, it was soothing to listen to until Sehun himself had drifted._

_Since then, they cuddled every night, it took a week or two for them to even cuddle on the couch when they were just watching television together. The whole thing reminded him of domestic activities, he came home to Jongin either have made dinner or making it (Jongin got off earlier as an HR rep than Sehun, a sales worker), they eat dinner together and talk about their day, then they clean up together, watch TV together with cuddles, get ready for bed and cuddle till they sleep. It felt like a natural order to Sehun after about three weeks, like things should have always been this way._

 

_Five months after the break up, Jongin started to get pieces of himself back that Sehun thought he wouldn’t see again. Jongin began to dance more, check in more often, and sometimes he’d even beg Sehun to have company over that night. It was usually only Chanyeol and Baekhyun, but sometimes Sehun couldn’t handle them for too long so he spent the night in his room filling up sales reports. They had gotten more touchy in ways that Sehun only paid attention to, when they went out in public Sehun always kept his hand on Jongin’s hip to keep him close by, they hugged every time they saw each other after a brief period of time, he loved the way Jongin nestled his head into the crook of his neck. Overall, he was happy, and he was happy with Jongin, he didn’t take the time to think about the feelings he repressed, he enjoyed all his moments with Jongin instead._

 

“Today marks a year Taemin and Jongin broke up.” Chanyeol stated, the beer bottle hooked up in between his fingers making Sehun shake from his thoughts. “Yeah, and?” Chanyeol rolled his eyes playfully, nudging Sehun with a faint chuckle. “And, the year mark means he’s probably going to end up looking for someone new. I wonder who it’ll be. Someone nicer, someone more badass, someone like you, someone like me.” Sehun ignored the upsetting small coil in chest, his gaze now annoyed as he looked up Chanyeol. “Whatever Jongin decides to do isn’t really our business.”

Chanyeol shrugged, tilting his head to the side. “It may not be mine, but it’s yours.” Without being able to ask Chanyeol what that meant, he saw Jongin accompanied by Baekhyun strolling into the bar. Sehun stood up and hopped down on the floor, he held his arms open as Jongin rushed into them. Jongin’s arms held onto Sehun’s neck, his nose rubbing softly over the skin of Sehun’s neck as Sehun held onto him tightly by the waist. Jongin quietly murmured against Sehun’s neck, only loud enough for him to hear “miss me? Surprised you didn’t kill Chanyeol.” Sehun chuckled, humming in response before speaking

“I did. You obviously missed me, and you know, me too.” They pulled away, the back of his neck shivered while Jongin’s fingers lingered over his skin and Sehun’s fingertips lingered against his waist. “When you’re both done being gay we’d like to all talk now.” Baekhyun interjected, Sehun spotted a blush on Jongin’s cheeks as he sat down on the barstool next to Sehun, he ignored them all, tuning out their pointless conversations but instead he read the news on his phone or on occasion looked at Jongin.

A year, it’s been a year, Sehun thought. He couldn’t possibly think Jongin would put himself out there. He never expressed any interest in it, in fact he seemed like he was more career driven since working as an HR rep was paying off for him that a relationship seemed foggy in his mind. Sehun wondered if Jongin was going to try putting himself out there now, seeing what fish he’d catch in his net, the thought made the upsetting coil return in his stomach.

He didn’t understand what that meant, and he didn’t understand why he cared so much about what Jongin does or how he does it, or why even. Sehun looked over at Jongin, watching him laugh brought a smile to his face. He knew he’d have to share Jongin sometime, but why was facing the reality of that so hard?

“Jongin, gonna put yourself out there now?” Chanyeol abruptly sounded through the white noise that Sehun managed to mute, he perked up a little bit at the question, very carefully looking over to Sehun who was laughing. “No, I’ll let whatever come to me, with time I’m uh, I’m sure it will.” Another pink color washed onto his cheeks, getting a rise from Chanyeol and Baekhyun. “You already have someone in mind! Who is it?” Jongin scoffed playfully, the blush deepening on his cheeks. “I do not! Stop this, Sehun and I have to go actually.” Sehun knew he did in fact have someone on his mind, and for some reason that thought felt unsettled in his mind.

 

Sehun typed vigorously on his computer along with a few rushed clicks, trying to finish up these final sales reports in order to put them into accounting tomorrow but Jongin was being rather distracting. He wasn’t even doing anything but the way he sprawled out in boxers and a tight deep v neck shirt was enough for Sehun to lose focus. “You’re really quiet today.” Jongin said softly, rolling onto his side with his head resting against the cushion to look up at Sehun.

“You think so?” Jongin sat up, grabbing the computer from Sehun and let his head fall onto the other’s lap, nodding. “I know so. What’s on your mind?” Sehun almost let out a frustrated sigh at the computer being forced away from him but as soon as his hand fell into the soft strands of Jongin’s hair, he couldn’t be bothered. “You didn’t tell me you were into someone, it was really obvious that you were. I thought we were close enough for that.” Jongin’s eyes slightly widened, shaking his head as he sat up a bit. “Nothing, it’s nothing. I have work to do.” Jongin scurried up and off the couch into his own bedroom after making a pit stop to grab his work bag.

“What the fuck was that?” Sehun muttered to himself, reaching over for the computer and resuming typing up the reports. He didn’t appreciate that Jongin wasn’t telling him the truth, and he really wasn’t appreciating that Jongin wasn’t saying it was him he liked. His hands stopped suddenly at the thought that had just crossed his mind, index finger threatening to press the spacebar in mid stroke until that thought happened.

He wanted Jongin to say he had feelings for him, his head tilted back as his eyes closed, lips slightly parted. Sehun kept all his emotions on lockdown for as long as he could possibly remember since he saw a life without emotions, an easier one. Watching Jongin be heartbroken for about four months was enough proof in that, this wasn’t the first boyfriend he had even watched Jongin suffer from. Sehun just found it slightly odd that unlike the usual, he got over Taemin faster than any other boyfriend.

 

Jongin was known for having steady committed relationships, it was something Sehun wished he could have. Jongin had been dating since ninth grade, and he’d only dated a few boys but their relationships lasted one to two years so Jongin didn’t need to really date a lot of boys. At 23, Jongin had more successful relationships than Sehun could imagine. Sehun had dated plenty of boys, the shortest relationship he had was two weeks, the longest was two months.

They all broke up with him for being so detached from his emotions, and they didn’t bother trying to be patient, but maybe he felt himself becoming comfortable with Jongin. It was weird that they haven’t gotten closer until Jongin broke up with Taemin, Sehun thought. Then Sehun opened his eyes as his brain started to connect that he finally opened up to let Jongin in, he had let Jongin in, he needed to continue letting him in order to make this work. His brain was racing at a million thoughts per hour until it finally connected why he wanted this to work, why this was so important, he had feelings for Jongin and he wanted Jongin to have feelings for him too.

Sehun stood up quietly, he made his way over to Jongin’s room, his ear pressed to the door. Jongin was speaking, it was quiet hushed tones and suddenly was cut off when Sehun knocked on the door. He leaned himself back off the door to look at Jongin once the door opened. “Are you okay?” Sehun murmured quietly, watching Jongin very hesitantly nod. “Let me hang up with Kyungsoo real fast.” Sehun felt his back scorch with heat. “Kyungsoo, the guy from the I.T department at work?” Jongin nodded, bidding Kyungsoo goodbye before hanging up.

He crawled onto the bed grabbing the papers. He held them out for Sehun to read and pointed as he read through it “he’s trying to establish his relationship with the secretary, I know its on here but I just don’t like her. But yeah they’re dating now, keep it down low.” A wave of relief washed over Sehun, he shut out his feelings for this reason, he knew Jongin was beautiful and he knew Jongin would be too good for him.

“Sehun?” Sehun shook himself out of his thoughts for what felt like the millionth time today and nodded. “Yeah yeah down low. Are you okay?” Jongin nodded, taking Sehun’s wrist after setting the paper on the bed, going over to Sehun’s room and crawled in the bed. Like routine, Sehun crawled in after him. They curled into one another as Sehun played with Jongin’s hair and Jongin shaped small shapes into Sehun’s broader shoulders. They both knew what each other liked by this time. Sehun knew Jongin wasn’t answering him, but he didn’t pressure Jongin, he knew Jongin would talk when it was time.

 

Jongin didn’t talk, Jongin instead seemed to sort of distance himself from Sehun and it was driving Sehun crazy. He watched Jongin interact with Chanyeol and Chanyeol seemed to easily take on the affections from Jongin that Sehun usually received. ‘Of course Chanyeol would, he’s beautiful.’ Sehun thought to himself. Jealousy wasn’t a good look on Sehun, it was a color he didn’t like to wear, let alone wear with pride.

So he watched Jongin and Chanyeol play video games until Chanyeol had to leave to see Baekhyun. Jongin walked Chanyeol out, Sehun didn’t skip a beat to walk over to Jongin, pressing his hands on Jongin’s shoulder to keep him back against the door. “You’re distancing from me.” Jongin’s lips were parted, hair was a mess, shirt was slung somewhat off his shoulder, if Sehun didn’t have a clear mind he would’ve kissed him by now.

“Sehun.” Jongin breathed out. He hadn’t realized that his nose could practically bump into Jongin’s, so he did. His nose very gently nudged over Jongin’s, Jongin held Sehun’s shoulders in his hands, not in a tense way, but in a way of comfort. “Why are you distancing from me, Jongin?” Jongin looked at him speechlessly, head leaned back against the door. His hands carefully moved from Sehun’s broader shoulders to hold the soft thin face in his hands. “I didn’t mean to, really. It’s complicated.”

Sehun didn’t understand what was so complicated, but he held Jongin still against the door despite Jongin wanting to move. “No, why is it complicated?” Jongin shook his head, leaning forward to ghost his lips across Sehun’s cheek until he managed to walk away, leaving Sehun watching Jongin walk into his room.

 

Chanyeol sat next to Sehun, Chanyeol was Sehun’s least favorite person in the moment but if anyone were to know what was going on with Jongin it’d be him. It got worse in the past two weeks. The rain poured out from outside the bookstore Chanyeol worked out. “Sehun, are you dense?” Chanyeol’s question urged Sehun to finally look over at him. “What?” Sehun watched Chanyeol groan, holding his head in his hand. “Are you dense?” Sehun shook his head, he didn’t think he was dense. “He likes you, idiot. You like him, he likes you, he thinks you don’t like him. You think he doesn’t like him. You’re both stupidly dense.”

Sehun jumped out of his seat, not bothering to say bye to Chanyeol as he ran to the apartment, letting rain hit his skin. The water left his hair dripping, shirt clinging to his skin outlining the abs and pecs as he stopped in front of the apartment. He caught his breath before running back in and up into their apartment where he was met with Jongin sitting on the couch reading a book. Jongin lifted his eyes up from the book with a faint smile on his face that quickly fell into a pout. “Sehun you’re soaked.” Jongin stood up to get a towel but Sehun pushed him back down on the couch, straddling himself over Jongin’s hips.

“Stop. Stop, stop moving. You’re going to sit here, and you’re going to listen to me.” Jongin looked up at him, hesitantly nodding as Sehun relaxed onto Jongin’s lap. “You have been distancing from me and, and it’s been killing me. I fucking like you, Jongin. I want to kiss you and hold your hand and go back to being able to actually sleep in the same bed as you, but kiss you in the mornings, hold you from behind when you make breakfast after I insist you not make it. I want you, I want the domestic things with you, I want to be with you. I’ve been so detached from feeling anything but  being around you so, so closely this past year has unlocked all my emotions and I feel everything so strongly because of you.”

Jongin was blushing furiously with a grin on his face, he spoke quietly. “I distanced since I thought you didn’t like me and I didn’t want my stupid feelings to get in the way of what we had. But, you like me. I’ve liked you for a really long time Sehun. Now we can take what we had and make it better.” Sehun didn’t need anymore words as his lips navigated down to Jongin’s, leaving a kiss to them softly. Their kiss was needy but it wasn’t rushed as their lips melded together to meet one another's. Sehun’s hands found Jongin’s hair as Jongin’s hands slipped down the wet material of Sehun’s shirt as their lips started to move together seamlessly. Jongin bit down onto Sehun’s bottom lip, tugging on it with a quick release as he pulled away after a few moments to breathe. Their noses nudged over one another’s as Jongin smiled. “Let’s get you out of these wet clothes, yeah boyfriend?” Sehun nodded with a faint hum, wide smile that showed his teeth as he got off Sehun. “Love to, boyfriend.”

 

* * *

 

 

Sehun and Jongin had been sat at their favorite coffee bistro enjoying their drinks, telling each other small compliments and jokes. Their relationship had been at full blossom for two years now, Sehun felt like it was unbreakable, Jongin felt the same. “Jongin?” Sehun lifted his head to see Taemin, he’d have to give plenty of thanks to that guy for letting Jongin go.

He watched Jongin turn around and smile genuinely, it wasn’t a fake smile, and it wasn’t a smile to suggest he felt sadness towards Taemin, it was a kind smile. “Oh, hey Taemin.” Jongin got up and gave him a one arm hug and shortly sat down across from Sehun again. Taemin stood at the table, catching up with Jongin to which Sehun respected until Taemin finally turned to him. “Hey, Sehun, nice to see you.” Sehun nodded, silently until he cleared his throat. “Nice to see you.” Taemin smiled looking them over. “Jongin, are you seeing anyone?” Jongin nodded, leaning his chin on his hand with a faint hum “oh yeah, you know him.”

Sehun loved that Jongin picked up his sarcasm, he watched a confused expression set on Taemin’s face. “Oh, how long? Who?” Jongin, tilted his head to the other side, sensing the amusement from Sehun. “Two years, he’s sitting across from me.” Taemin glanced over at Sehun, an embarrassed blush flushing on his cheeks. “Ah, I see. I’ll be going.” He walked away shortly after and Sehun took Jongin’s hand in his own, kissing the back of his hand then knuckles. “I love you, Jongin.” Jongin smiled, leaning forward to peck his boyfriend's lips. “I love you too, Sehun.”


End file.
